"For every worry under the sun,There is a remedy or there is none.
If there is, hurry and find it,
If there isn't, never mind it."
-Le Grand Richards
I was given this saying by George I. Cannon. He was the Salt Lake Temple President at the time. I was talking with him about my getting married and asking if he'd marry my husband and I as he was also my Dad's mission President in England. He had taken us of a tour of the inside of the Salt Lake Temple after we'd gone through. It was an amazing experience as I got to see things I'd never seen before and probably will never see again. He told me Le Grand Richards was older when asked by the media how he'd lived so long. He had responded with this quote. I love it. I just sometimes forget it.
I have had a lot on my plate of late. I have found some struggles I simply don't know how to handle. For someone as opinionated and decisive as I am, that's a big struggle. Some things are simply out of our realm of control or ability to even deal with. It's hard when those things touch our lives in negative ways.
I have been tormented in my mind with what to do lately, not knowing who to turn to or where to look for good advice. I've been a little embarrassed to talk it out with anyone as I feel I shouldn't be falling apart, or feeling like my world is crumbling around me. I feel like I should be stronger and be able to deal with everything far better than I am and with more courage. I hate feeling weak and like I'm not capable of handling any and every situation. Then this quote popped into my head again.
I really think some stuff just needs to be let go. That's a change in me, too. I used to think every battle should be fought and every situation dealt with. I used to think every time something happened it should be brought to the forefront and dealt with and talked out. I've since realized there are battles to be fought and battles that are pointless and worthless to fight. I think my children and husband have taught me this the best. Instead of fighting my kids all along the way, constantly reminding them is better. Not in a naggy sort of way, but like when I keep seeing them leave out their shoes, that could be a battle, or that can just be an -ask-them-to-do-that-one-more-time thing.
Life is complicated enough without constantly fighting with everyone and about every thing. It just gets exhausting. What is worth fighting for? I'll tell you what I think. I think if it's going to matter in 5-10 years, it's totally worth fighting for. Homework is a great example. That makes a difference in their future. Fighting for someone you love, that relationship, their heart. That will make a huge difference in the eternities. If it's the simple stuff that really won't matter in a month, a year, or more. It's just not a battle worth having.
I have a hard time with just letting things go. It's hard to remember this quote, but it's so worth remembering. I know stress kills. I know that holding onto unfixables is just like being an emotional pack rat. How does your heart and mind look if it looked like a closet? Is everything in your heart and mind totally cluttered with battles not won or the past constantly creeping in for "shoulda, coulda, woulda"? I would like to think that sometimes I'm wise enough to do a spring cleaning on my heart and mind as well as my home. Not keeping things there that shouldn't be held onto because I didn't carry out some battle for a solution there shouldn't have been anyway.
I saw something on a show once that made me think. It was just a show. A Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode actually. The aliens, who were eternal beings couldn't understand why the commander lived in the time where his wife had died. He told them he didn't want to be there, but they kept taking him back and saying, "but you live here." Where do we live? Do we live in our past things we can't control or change? Or do we live in the hear and now, trying to change the future. I'm really trying to change the future, as the past is what it is and the mistakes are what they are.
I can't change who I was, but I can change who I am. I can't change for someone else, or allow them to change me, but I can change for the better, and for myself. I can't change the world, but I can make a difference in my little corner of it. I can't change others, but I can be a constant in their lives for when they want to make changes. I can't change things that are not changeable, but I can live in the present and change the future.