So once again it's the start of a new year (and if you notice I'm writing this in February). Doesn't look like I'm off to a very good start, unless you realize why this blog is so much later than my last one and why it's about 6 weeks after the new year.
Every year we gather the boys around and make new goals for them and us to accomplish. The only year this hasn't worked well was the year that I just didn't find time to type it up and put it up on the fridge. We read all our goals realizing that we didn't do many of them. My dad always said that, "if you want to make something happen, write it down. If you really want to make something happen, write it down and put it somewhere you can always see it. "
So this year we did it on the computer and I could print it out right there. One of my personal goals this year is something I've neglected for far too many years. I woke up one day (figuratively) and realized I used to be a better person. Oh, not really. I've learned and grown so much in the past 20 years I'm really better now than I have been in a lot of ways. I'm more mature (well, sometimes) and I am a far better mom now than I was 12 years ago. (Sorry kids). What I'm talking about is being a people person. I've been blind to those around me when I should have been paying attention. I should have been less neglectful of hearts and souls than I have been. I've been very attentive to family, while the rest of the world spun on unnoticed by me.
One of my goals this year was to pay attention and do things a little differently than I have in the past. Not tons differently. My ultimate goals are still the same. I want to spend as much time as I have left with my boys before they fly the coop ( won't be too much longer) to really get to know them and love them every second I can. Show them how the world works, why there are so many dangers to be avoided and to let them know they don't have to try and make all the mistakes of everyone else, watch and learn and advance without making everyone else's mistakes over again. Help lead them into being fine, upstanding men and watch them marry and treat their wives with the loving support and gentleness their father has always shown me.
There is a world out there, though. Being compulsive and obsessed can only get me so far with the boys if they never seeing me out there serving and doing for those I call my friends. I've said no to far too many things in the past 15 years and blamed it on the fact I have a family to care for. I do, it's true. It wasn't an excuse, but times change, kids grow and they need to learn in more ways than just listening to me tell them why things are the way they are.
I am making it a pursuit to watch for chances to show my friends I care and tell people I love them. I haven't been very talented in that area and some of that is from pride. Can't show I'm weak by showing I care about something, don't ya know. Well, I've decided the weakness is definitely my pride because I like it when others show me they care, why would it be weak to show them I care?! (Yeah, yeah. I know, it took me long enough - better late than never, right?! )
So this is for my boys, though I may find myself leaving them more sometimes than I would like. I will let them know it's for service and they hopefully will understand. I want to go to the temple to honor my relatives who have passed before me and helped shape me into the person I am and the person I'd like to be. That's a service too. We'll see how this comes to be, but for now, that's one of my goals.
Funnily enough, what brought this into action (been thinking about it for a long time) was a book I picked up and started reading. It was one my dad taught us from a lot and told us about. Maybe you've heard of this, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People." Great book. Puts things in perspective for me. Made me realized that though I'm doing a lot of right things, I may be focusing on the wrong reasons for doing them which is why I always feel like I'm not getting anything done. Now my focus has changed and has lead me to make different choices day to day and week to week. I look at my daily challenges differently and that has made loads of difference.
So I'm writing about my new year because I've been focusing on my really important things and rearranging why I'm doing things and how I'm doing to do better without feeling like I'm running breathless like I have for so many years. I used to stop and smell the roses as it were. Now I'm doing it again. So late in telling everyone, but not late on my new year. I've just been so happy to see such a change in me, my home and my happiness that I haven't taken the time to blog it. Now, here it is. Onward!!!
